today i made a big fuss because of the ticket she won to stupid carlsbeg competition...thinking about she wearing bikini with her boy half naked playing at the beach, having that stupid alcohol and then make love at the nite!! 2 days 1 nite stupid party organized by pervert stupid idiot white guy!!!! HATE IT SO MUCH...
heart so pain today...keep sms her, so frus...keep sms what cross my mind without care her feelings, keep sms without my logical mind and conscience ..even used many "!" symbol like i was so assertive....heart so pain yesterday...have sleepless night...when she woke up i tot she would reply me, but she didnt,instead she still have mood post a stupid so called hilarious video from her bf bday greeting...ya la so much fun!!???? so eager and excited to read the comments????? why still have mood to post such video when a guy who loves u is crying whole day night and u woke up u did this .......then i saw her on9 awhile but she was afraid to leave any comment anymore...then she immediately off9, ..then for the rest of whole day i kept frustrated and sms her , until she speechless, i told her all the facts even asked her to promise me to break up with him, i know it is hard for her to speak out for break up because she very sayang him and thinks that he is innocent ...kept sms until she said she has no mood anymore , she said she is depressed, and heartache....sigh..all bcoz of me....then i apologized to her....i very sorry dear....i make mess only....
went to tht stupid alcohol site again, saw all the party pictures, i guess she must be happy if she go there to play the events soon....it is me who stopped her, why i make her sad? she shud deserve this free ticket...it is me who wrong....who make it big fuss..but i cant be helped at all...my heart pain imagining u guys holding hand at the party...im so naive right? ...u guys are couple thts normal..but as a third party my heart really pain...
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